share as a prayer

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! I’m so grateful to have this moment with you. 

What happened today?

I realized my USF classes end on Friday, and then the SPC classes end two weeks later. And then I go visit my daughter! It’s really wonderful, or is supposed to be. I also had three or four people ask me today about buying my house. One said something else closed in court, so I’m nervous about that too. Course I know I’m safe an protected but still get nervous. I also realize it more of a reminder for me to step into more of what I’ve asked for. Like being sixteen again, lol, or STILL!

Like this morning on the prayerline I was thrilled to have someone new ask an ‘open-ended” question allowing me to really share and explain what I share as a prayer and the knowledge I’ve developed. But then he would twist my words and claim weird shit . . . “Oh you said this. . . “ it was really weird, and the guy started getting really rude. I’ve been told before to never tolerate anything, and to just end the call if people get rude.

Yes, I was grateful I did end this. But that energy and experience it gave me was strong and carried most of the day. And then the housing crap dug deeper into that same negative toxic feelings. And then again I realize it’s about keeping the motion of the energy. I’ve noticed this with food too, like it’s really obvious to me, how sugar is addictive. 

Why haven’t you prayed about it?

I’ve not really learned to pray for myself yet. While it’s gotten so very clear and powerful with everyone else. I’m feeling more, seeing more, I’ve been saying names as I pray!  Bruce Daniels!!  And I even said my dad and family in tears the other night. But this Alone has been difficult, so to get to prayers and asking for me. What else could i possibly need. I’ve never or not asked for much. I always feel like I have too much. I ask for my children, my Church Brothers, and my Students, but not really for myself much. 

What’s stopping you now?

I know! You always want me to pray more, write more, share more and more . . . Always making it sound so easy. 

What are you waiting for, knock, and it will be opened to you. Matt 7:7

I’m sorry!  Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to sustain me into Your Word better. Guide my thoughts, words and deeds to fulfill your Glory. Yes, Dear Jesus, bring me success in school, more classes to teach, and stronger security at home. LEAD me through the legal shifts before me to bring me greater peace at home. Guide me to find You Peace and ease in your works. AMEN.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

actually sharing the experience

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What happened now?

I got downstairs to meet with Dick and I’m a whole hour early!  It was funny as I tossed and turned in bed the last hour thinking I should get up soon so I didn’t miss him. Or more importantly that I was present and ready for whatever we were doing next . . . And so I got downstairs and had a text message from Linda at the PrayerLine. Wow, I was invited to her party. . . 

What happened to you?

I, I , I, started to cry since Michelle from the JoyFm is HOSTING IT.

What you remember of this experience is going into the empty house . . . . flashing to questions of suicide. You were Convinced you were finished and not wanting to continue . . . And Madison was born with Michelle announcing it on the radio. . . This was what saved your life. $444.44 vacay ur way donations started then at theJOYfm.com.

After actually sharing the experience with Michelle to all the ladies in the Divine Chaplet meeting. Another awesome grace in my life, was seeing the blessings showing up all around me. Then I had this awesome experience of racing home on my bike to catch Brent for our lent talk. And I noticed it was almost time to start, so I pulled over at Crescent Lake Park. And sat here under this beautiful oak tree! And I don’t wanna get up! It’s so beautiful here. I am so blessed, I’ve been making this chicken soup. Sharing It with people and I feel people healing and growing all around me! It’s so wonderful. I know Jesus is with me and I know what I have to do and keep doing! But I don’t know what that means. Whatever shows up, is the latest blessing and experience i get into. Like I was crying in the Spirit Song this morning so I knew I had to tell everybody everything about Michelle! I think I actually got it all out too, wow . . . Even recorded myself.

What about getting out there now and cleaning or finishing something as it is very apparent you have so very much to do all around you. Each day you try and each day you get caught into these things that really serve no one. You had a wonderful morning and shared a lot. Now you have reviewed all your recordings and see and know what you’ve shared and done. You have written about it and perplexed in detail. Now you need to move on and do whatever is next. 

I get it. And I know my dream and application of life at 16, is really where I belong and it's not something I’ve done yet. I'm always saying I can do that tomorrow. I'm trying to stay at ease, is bed, in spirit, and peace!

What about sixteen and being real about all these responsibilities that surround you each moment. 

I know! Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Please fill me with Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom for me to more deeply understand and share Your Truth, Love and Experience fully in my daily life. Guide me to complete all the tasks around me. Fill me with the fortitude and desire to complete each new project defined before me. Father I ask for Your Deeper Spiritual connections and ambitions to fulfill all the Plans and Dreams GOD HAS CREATED IN FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST.

These are skills and abilities that make you who you are

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ. It’s Palm Sunday and I’ve heard this same reading three times now. The first time was on Friday where I actually read this passage myself, with some difficulty in fact. And now again with Father Mike as I’m eating some breakfast. . . Matthew 26:14-27:66 https://youtu.be/goGupVTc_sg?si=hzX5Xj5r9-46JhkK

What about this jumped out to you. . . . 

It’s kinda weird, It was like the very first time I ever read it, or ever really understood it. And it’s weird as I feel this phrase jumping out at me, to “Do the Will of God” and as weird as it seems, I kinda just “DO and BE,” and never really know why sometimes. . . I mean, I’ve really had never examined so much of my life. But I’ve come to really realize this very intimate divine experience. Like, I remember the experience with Kimberly and the Roof Replacement comments over lunch with Christopher. This brought me so much new insight with the active examination of my own experience. I simple have always known things and never really looked into the deeper meanings. And I always knew where I belonged and simply BE, without question so much of the time. And it’s funny now as I’ve gotten into debates and arguments with myself, or with my Guardian Angels countless times. And of course, I realize this has been my whole life, alone and alienated by many, I was always happy and busy with my own conversations and experiences with Christ never really concerned if anyone else understood, or even acknowledge my experiences.

I remember working in the Nursery at the United Methodist Church in Waldwick, NJ . . . The Nursery School Teachers always were so grateful whenever I walked in ready to help. The kids would always find complete peace with me. And I remember how awesome it was to just love the joy and beauty of these babies and they would all be asleep in no time and I then still could walk over and attend the church sermon if i wanted to.  It’s so weird to remember this as I speak about it now, and something more comes into my memory. Beauty with Bishop Barron as “Harmony integrity and radiance of Form”

What Happened yesterday?

I guess it was the same experience to see and witness the “flashback in father trauma” and I know I’ve done this before too!  Like obviously we are all going through these same experiences, just like the Bible describes how the Israeli people needed trauma and suffering to bring deeper understanding of the truth.  And to know Truth versus some relative truth destruction or deformation.

What has this come into today for you.

It was kinda weird as Bishop’s next piece was an interview and experiences with some actor/producer David who has been seeking to review the Catholic Parton Support of religious art.  It was kinda neat as they spoke about how the young adults are finding the Latin Mass again, and loving it.  It’s an art move into them more than anything. 

What about just doing this all yourself? You are always trying to find someone to support you and help you to really do what you do best by yourself. Like speaking to all the professors on Friday about your students, when you finally got the last word: “it’s your class do what you want!”  Stop searching, just so it!

I’ve been trying to get more clear and more focused and again and again it’s really about Jesus. It’s really about TRUST and Experience with this deeper more powerful Truth that I know inside of me.  I know this seems a little weird, but I really know this. And I’ve been learning and studying more every day about this deeper power and the love deep inside of all of us. And allowing this to flow and express out of us is key.

What it brings to you is so much more than you realize. And as you grow and learn more, the clarity and focus brings you more power and abilities. 

I even spoke to Dr. JJ now, wow. He had some good ideas and suggestions for me too.  He’s more realistic and practical about what the students are here for and what they can do and respond to.  Again It was wonderful to share with him, as it always has been.  He was surprised to hear I was doing six classes now, saying four is considered full-time, so I’m really doing time and a half.  Of course I know this is more about getting the summer off and doing whatever it is that I need to be doing next.

What do you feel about this now?

I guess I’m really not sure. I know you’ve been pushing me to heal and do more on the healing side of life than I’ve ever done before. And I’m also pressed or challenged to get more social and engaged with people. I’ve really never been able to figure this out

What you have there is really an excuse. For years, you’ve blocked so much empathy so you wouldn’t start healing people before they even asked you, or before they even knew the sickness and issues you were seeing. Then you can dance and share your love so freely with anyone very easily.  And always have been able to step beyond the limits and issue that catch people all the time.  These are skills and abilities that make you who you are.  These will never leave you. Like you discovered at Age 16 in NJ when you realized you were going to USF. You can do most anything, and what people know and see is very limited.

I guess so!

What about this is knew to you?  No one will ever believe you. You can heal and change things all around you anytime you want. It’s really not a challenge or any issue at all.  Accepting this is what you need to do. Stop second-guessing yourself and trying to Be or Do something that’s beyond you. You have enough, there is not anything more you need, nor do you really need to learn anything. it’s about TRUST and MOVING forward now.

I know, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.