you know, so if you wanna take me seriously, I'd leave this book

Been sharing my story since I've gotten here, and nobody understands. Nobody believes me. Nobody, I raised my kids in Seminole Heights. 
So I came down here after high school. And from where? New Jersey. 
Okay. Oh, you familiar with New Jersey? Oh, sure. 
Yeah. Burton County? Yes, very nice area. 
Really? Burger County? You know, Wycoff? 
White cough? Whitecoff? Wykoff? 
It's true. Sub River? Allendale. 
Allendale. Well, so I worked up there for a little while my previous jobs. So in New Jersey. 
It's beautiful state. So you're out by the beach or down south? No, all throughout the state, you know, when you... 
Which river? Saddle River. Saddle River? 
Is that near town? You never heard of Saddle River? Tom Server. 
That's where the south. Yeah, and so they had beautiful beaches. They have incredible forests. 
It's a beautiful state. It gets a bad rap because other people always like, where are you from in New Jersey? Which exit is the new answer, right? 
But, and then the area, Hoboken. Yes, that was right down the street. Oh my gosh, you look across and you got beautiful New York City. 
Statue of Liberty. It's an amazing place. The cliffs? 
Ingleside cliffs, right? There was that, I could ride my bike to a cliff where we could see the city. Oh is that right? 
It's beautiful. Yeah. It's funny biz, I took my picture. did you grow up? 
What's it? Well, Waldwick. Which? 
That's what I was asking you, bro. was in between Mitrid's? was to North Corner. The Muldwick was where I was, the Midland Park, and settle. 
And so I got into a motorcycle accident when I was 16. Oh. And I died. 
And it was death experience. Oh, you had near death experience. No, it was a dead experience. 
It wasn't a near death experience. It was a death experience. And it was really bizarre because I had beaten the system. 
My father was the white American. Navy guy that came over on a ni nambinta. And then my mom was the native that he took advantage of. 
And so he met my mom in Puerto Rico. And she said, okay, I'll marry you if I can have a son named after my dad. And he said, okay. 
So they got married and they had 4 kids. And he tried to kill me. before I was born and he tried to kill me over and over again. And my whole life was beating the system because he was the system. 
And she was native and I didn't even know it until I got down here. And it was really bizarre because my stepmom explained it to me. And what was really incredible was, you know, so I died in high school. 
I didn't believe it, and it was all bullshit, and I was like, I'm not coming back, forget it. Never. I'm not going back. 
And like, well, we need somebody, you gotta go back, gotta save the last city. And I was like, what? And I was like, no way am I going to go back for 100 people. 
And they're like, well, I don't know if we can do anything better than that. And I was like, yeah, I got to do a 1000000 if you want me to go. And I was like, well, maybe I'll go for a couple million. 
And so I came back. And I thought it was all bullshit. I didn't believe any of it. 
And I wrote about it for 2 years. And they told me I was a prodigal son. I was like, what the hell's that? 
You know, it didn't mean anything to me. It was all bullshit. The church was bullshit. 
It was all... I mean, the only thing I did in church was helping the nursery because the kids could see Jesus in me, so I could connect with the kids, and it was awesome. I always played in a nursery. 
It was the easiest way for me to give away from my dad, was to go volunteer in the nursery. Because my dad was always kicking me and me and China. My dad was the narcissist, the Navy guy, all got to be in control. 
And I was, I grew up in the woods. I was hiding from him and my brothers and everybody picked on me all the time. So it was really incredible to come to Tampa. with a vision of, okay, so what am I gonna do now? 
Yeah. And I didn't believe any of it. And, So, the story of the prodigal son was having a big party. 
And I was like, oh, so... Well, when he returned, they said, right. And so, okay, so I'm gonna get a big party if I come back. 
And so I wrote about this party for 2 years. My junior and senior year in high school. My senior year, I met a nursing student. 
And moved out of the house, and went with her, and I was... incredible, and I had the fantasy experience of the goddess Barbie doll nursing student, my senior year in high school. It was so bizarre, you know, after my motorcycle accident, I was, like, off limits. everybody was scared to death with me. So I went from being the lead drug dealer and con artists and, I mean, I had broken into this everything. 
There weren't even locks on the doors when I was in school. And by the time I got out of the hospital, they had locked everything or padlocks everywhere. And it was so funny because the principal said, I let you in again, if you give us spec explosives, we're missing, and I just, like, laughed, and I was, like, okay, I think I know where they hit them. 
And they let me back in the high school. And it was so funny that 1st time I walked out, I left. You know, my dad took me to a shrink, you know, and so I died. 
And they didn't tell me until I went to a doctor's office and he said the same thing. He died. Tell me about that. 
I was like, Well, what am I here for? And he pulled out a newspaper and gave me the newspaper. And I read about the motorcycle accident, and I was like... 
Oh, and he's like, yeah, you gotta tell me about this. And I didn't remember anything. I didn't wanna... 
Well, of course, I didn't want to. So to have that experience and to go through all that. Yeah. 
And what's really been incredible for me is that, I accepted the challenge, and then I got my Fat RAM. I wasn't gonna have a, uh, it was really funny because when I was in high school, and he said, he said, oh, well, your prodigal son. And I was like, okay, where's the party? 
And, and I don't want to, uh, goat. What did they chop up at? A calf. 
Right. I was like, hey, you're gonna, if you're gonna get me back to do something for you, you know, caffe ain't gonna work and I want a big fat ram. And it was so funny because it was like, dream about it. 
And I was like, what do you mean, dream about it? I said, well, you're not going to get a fat ram? You gotta conceptualize what you really want. 
And of course, the last 2 years in high school. What do you sort of single guy want after, after 20 years of being the drug dealer for the town, and giving everybody everything, and going to all the parties, and the LSD, I'd go through a pound and ref for a week. Who knows, right outside of the city, I had guys going to the city to pick up stuff for me. 
The guy that delivered the pizza car was my runner, and he was the coolest driver ever. And I was, and I was, because my dad. He's delivering more than pizza. 
Well, my dad was, you know, the big shot. I mean, he was the wealthy, you know, the mayor lived next door and, you know, but he nobody knew that I was hiding in the woods, you know? So it was so funny because I could get away with anything. 
So everybody thought, oh, the sweet Weaver kid. Oh, yeah, right. And if you only knew. 
And it was so bizarre because they started break, they started chopping down my woods. And they built 3 farms when I got to New Jersey. Three farms. 
There was a farm behind my house. There was one across the street, there was another one back by the elementary school. Make sure they know where you are. 
All of them were gone. by the time I got to high school. One woods left, and the woods sits left is a small little one left around the ballpark in the river, down at the end. But everything that's gone. 
I think all the woods are gone, all of them. I used to put, I used to put salt into the bulldozers into the gas tanks because they were messing with my woods. So, I did that, like, 3 or 4 times. 
It's great big things show up and start smashing down your woods. And not that one's not gonna be working next week. And you know, you put salt or... to the gas. 
Environmental terrorist. I was the worst, but then nobody knew until that motorcycle accident, and they found this dead kid on the road, and what the hell is he got all this stuff? Where is this? 
This is in the bank yesterday. Holy shit. And they found out all the stuff that I did from my accident. 
And I didn't know I was in the, I was in the hospital for a month before I even got out of that. But then the counselor, all he wanted to know was, oh, did you see the tunnel? Did you see the light? 
Did you... Give me a break. I don't want to deal with this bullshit. 
And it was so bizarre because when she wanted to start having babies. And I was like, what? I just got out of high school, and my dad calls, and he says, hey, we're moving to Florida. 
You want to go to college? What? He's like, we sent your brother down there already. 
We're finally making some money with my business. We're getting out of New Jersey, going back to the tropics where your mom's from. I was like, oh, whereabouts? 
And we found an airport down, down in Florida. Down Tampa. I was like, your brothers, what year was that that you moved here? 
83. 83? 83? 
Yeah. My motorcycle was 1980. It was weird because it was my my 2nd wife's birthday. 
I got married again and it was, when's your birthday? B 30? Holy shit. 
It was really weird. So so my dad's like, hey, come down to Florida. And my girlfriend worked at Lord Taylor's. 
That strawberry and whipped cream and goddess in the split level house. My, my, my 2nd mom, I dated her daughter. My freshman year in high school. 
And she adopted maybe. She had the beautiful split level house with 3 girls and I was the man in the family. I was the only guy around. 
I helped her do. I mean, we built furniture, we put them with floors, we did, we did all kinds of crap. So after we graduated, I'm bouncing on this goddess and she's taking his, her kids to, Where did she go? 
Oregon. They drove across country. She's like, hey, Raffi, can you take care of our family, our kids, that she had 12 Cats, 3 dogs and a new litter of kittens. 
So Marianne and I moved into this house with all these critters, and they left, and Marianne and I were just like rabbits going crazy, and it was so erotic, and my dad called, so, like, what do you want me to do? You wanna go where? I was like, oh, why don't you hire me? 
I can, you know, I can help you pack. And he's like, yeah, clean out the garage. I'll hire you to clean out the garage. 
I was like, oh, okay, I'll think about it, daddy. He's like, you better tell me real soon. We got to get moving. 
I was like, okay. And I went, and sat down, and opened up my German, and I started reading, and everything, I wrote about my fat ram, was in the bedroom. Oh, the strawberries, the whipped cream, the fancy lingerie, the you. 
I mean, and she was erotic too. So it was like, My own handwriting, you know, a year of my own handwriting describing what I saw in front of me every night. Oh Jesus, you're not kidding. 
And I was like, that's a big fat ram. was a big fat ram. She even had, it was really funny because I remember journaling like a week before I met her, and I was sitting outside on the bleachers, you know, lunchtime, you know, all alone, because everybody's scared of death of me, writing in my journal, and I saw this red pickup truck drive by. I was like, It'd be great if she had a pickup truck, because I'm on a bike. 
You know, they wouldn't let me drive her for years after stolen motorcycle. No way. I was lucky to put me away. 
They actually tried to put me away. They want to try. You're the 1st adult, 1st mind that we're gonna charge as an adult because you've done these heinous crimes. 
Yeah, right. My dad got me off, of course, you know, when you, it's all about money, you know, you got money, you get away with anything. And, uh, it was bizarre because, because I got everything I wanted and then I was like, okay, Jesus, you're serious and you want me to go to Tampa? 
do this, whatever you want me to do. And I, Okay, I mean, I couldn't believe how much. I mean, when you read your own handwriting and you see it. 
I mean, it's, you know, you can't argue with that anymore. You know, whether you believe in God or whatever you believe in, this doesn't mean anything anymore. Because you got Yeah, you got this right in your face. 
And I was like, okay, there's your proof. Fine. So I gotta go to Tampa now. 
And so I did what I had to do. 1983, Tampa, was it three? And he came into Tampa. 
And the 1st thing I saw was all the parties. And I ended up... Well, look, dorms used to have the threats were allowed to bring beer trucks out on campus. 
The USF? USF University of Sun and Fun. The parties were endless. 
They had beer trucks on the grounds for their frat parties. And this kid walks up to me and he says, you stole a motorcycle. And I'm like, what? 
And he was a year behind me. in New Jersey, and my mom knew him by name, because my mom used to substitute the Spanish class, so she knew him by name. My sister knew him by name, because, you know, she was young. She was only a year, 2 years behind me, so he was in between us and he was a football quarterback. 
So she knew him by name. And I was like, who's this guy? And he just walked up to me at this frat party and started harassing me and I was, he turned, he showed up in my engineering classes. 
And I was trying to build my, my three-wheel bike from high school. I tried to build it in the shop. Because that was the only class that I'd take it in high school. 
I was either selling drugs or working in the shop and nobody messed with me because I was trouble. You know, they didn't, you know, the principals, the teachers, they stayed out of my way because I had more money than they did, they didn't want to mess with me. So I just did whatever I wanted to for all through school. 
And it was so funny when I got my masters because I had to learn how to read. It was funny. That was a great story. 
I got an NBA and I got master's in leadership. But it's really bizarre because, see, this guy from my high school saw what I was doing. He's like, you know, we got to set this up for students to get projects for credit. 
And I was like, oh, great idea. That's what Jesus sent me here. And he started reading my journal. 
He started, he started reading because every time he'd see a prayer, he'd be like, oh, that's what I gotta read there. And he started seeing what I was doing. And he's like, wow, we gotta set this up, we gotta make this happen. 
I was like, okay. And we ended up, it was so funny because I was developing patents at USF as a freshman. And the president found out and he was pissed because they hadn't done it with their faculty yet. 
I was doing it as a freshman. What kind of patents? It was, I was just, I was a road bike. 
It was a three wheel bike, but that was what I was working on. It was really funny because I've had the presentation book for a month. And I actually brought it here twice, and I think I've actually pulled it out once and showed it, showed somebody something. 
And so you're the 1st person that has heard this much of my experience. Oh, hi, yes. I have, you came into it, and I was wired after racing over here on my bike from church. 
That was a trip too, because I ran into a college student, and she took all my flyers. She took them all. I was like, hey, you want to make me feel better? 
Take my class. And she says, what? And I was like, yeah, you're a student. 
And she's like, yeah, I'm a USF student. I said, take a sign up for my masters. And she's like, what? 
And I'm like, hey, you get 5 students in my class. I'll let you in for free. And she's like, what? 
I'd love to take your glass for free. And I'm like, it's starting Monday. Get into it. 
So one side says class and the other one says stars. So stars was what I started at my freshman year at USF. It was called Rent a Student, and we incorporated the director of the urban design center, was the 3rd board member. 
It was me and Chuck, and then the director of the year. You and Chuck here, T, you could take some of those off. No, give them to your kids. 
Oh, give them your patience. Give them to you. I love to get more people into my... 
You know what's really funny is that when I got up this morning, I was like, oh, I'm going to see Lee, and she's actually started to ask me questions because, you know, when you like you asked, and you get me started on a story, then I go, and she's just started to ask when we finished. So I left with her ready to understand. Okay. 
And it was really funny because I noticed she had a book and she's got a real book. This is a survey book, and they sell these by the 1000s because everybody uses survey books. Sure in a book, yeah. 
She's got a big one. She's got the 8.5 by 11 ones. And they're all made by the same company and they all look identical. 
I mean, see, look at it. I mean, you can get them any size you want. They got the little rubber band on them and everything. 
And it was so funny because when I was jumping up to come back, after she asked one question. And I noticed that book, my history book is gone, because somebody else borrowed it. Another guy visited my house last week and I was like, hey, I'm ready. 
You want to help? He's like, oh, sure, I'll help you. Good luck. 
And he's like, wow, this is and I say, hey, it's all set up already. He only needs president to get it started again. He's like, what? 
I'm like, here, take it home, read it. And he's like, okay. Oh, like, oh, okay, whatever. 
So I didn't, I didn't know history, world history, or what? When I started my NBA. I don't see I got time. 
I could tell you the NBA story. Yeah, so... So I started this company with Chuck. 
And just as we incorporated, I graduated and got married and had baby. And I mean, May, December, January, or May, December, July. It was, and it was so funny because I was dating this girl that had just gotten out of our house. 
So she was 17 when I met her. And she was a dance. Well, I was a senior, so I was I started right out of high school and I did 5 years, right? 
Yeah, so I was 22, 23, just finished my degree. And I was like, oh, I'm done with what I came down here for. I can finally have my babies because, you know, I was already I babysit high school, you know? 
When God gave me this goddess, I was like, ready, babies? Yay. And no, you got to go to Tampa first. 
So as soon as I got my degree, it was like, back to babies. I was so excited to have babies. And she almost died too. 
The 1st one. And so 10 years with my babies and this 17 year old lady decides she wants to go back to school and she leaves. And I was like, oh, okay, good luck. 
And the only thing that changed was where she slept. Because we split everything right down the middle. I still had my kids as much as I wanted to, and they went back and forth. 
So they were with me 3.5 days and it was or 3.5 days. And she took one Honda, and I took the other Honda. I mean, I was an engineer, so I was doing real well. 
But I already owned my house. I was already all set by the time, we were married for 10 years, and she left. And then another goddess, Barbie doll, falls into my lap, and it was so awesome, and my daughter loved her so much. 
And, uh, and she was, uh, she was actually, she was a swimsuit mom from Hawaii. accomplished. But she didn't want to get married. And my daughter was pissed, so she found somebody to marry her mom instead. 
And he was trouble. And so it went nasty. So 10 years of marriage, 5 years of chaos, because once I lost my goddess, my daughter got pissed, and she found somebody else for her mom. 
She wanted a regular marriage. And I wasn't getting it done fast enough for her. So she found somebody else and then I lost my kids. 
So my kids were gone for 10 years. Oh. And when I lost my kids, I was still doing my engineer and I'd go downtown. 
I'd drop off permits and visit engineers and do whatever I was doing, and every once in a while, I'd, you know, go down there and, oh, hey, Scott. Scott was one of the attorneys that helped us start the student organization. Years before, he had an office on Davis Island. 
So every time I'd go downtown and drop off, hey, Scott, you got time for lunch? Oh, sure, come on. Oh, no, there's somebody in my office. 
Oh, you gotta meet this guy. Come on down. Yeah, let's have lunch. 
And I go down there to his office. And this old guy's sitting next to him, and it's like, I just started the entrepreneur center at the university. We just got certified... 
You should get your MBA. Damn, that's a good idea. So I visited Scott for lunch, and he introduced me to the guy who just started the entrepreneur program, and I decided to get an NBA. 
And it was so cool because I signed up for the class before I even applied to the program. I was there in the 1st week of class, and the guy that was teaching the class, I had to make a history book to get back into school. So that's what I did. 
So I made the history of all the projects we had done. I'm setting up the nonprofit and all of it. So I had like an inch binder of history. 
And so when I went back to this class, I picked up, picked one out of the schedule, found something that was a good time for me, and showed up for class, and sat through it, and talked to the teacher after class. He's like, what, you haven't even applied yet? And I'm like, no, I didn't even know what class it was until this morning. 
And he's laughing at me. Oh, my God, you're, where are you from? And I'm like, hey, I've been here before. 
I just go downstairs and see Mr. Card. He's like, Mr. Carr. He retired 10 years ago. And I'm like, yes, so card isn't around anywhere? 
And he, oh, you know, he's, he's a, he's the president of the credit union now. I was like, oh, see, so I go, see Mr. Carr anyway. And he's like, and what are you gonna do? 
And I, see, he's got my history book and he's like, oh, let me see that. He's look through my history book. And he sees these minutes with the president and he says, I scheduled this meeting. 
I was assistant for the president when he did this. So this is your project. And it was just so funny, because it's like, here the professor, in the class, is trying to tell me I can't get into his class because I'm not, and he tells me how to do it now. 
I'm like, praise God. So I jump on my bike, I ride over the credit unit, and I, you know, come up to the front desk and, hey, George, card around. Well, he's the president. 
He's upstairs. Yeah, just tell him wever's here. Tell him I ain't got to talk to him. 
She buzzes them up. I go right upstairs, and George is like, oh, you know who's the president, who's running a NBA program. It's my buddy from college. 
We went to Purdue together. I was like, oh, great, tell me how to get into the program. He's like, okay, you gotta tell him this. 
Tell me he needs to pull the fly off in the registrar. I need to spill this form out and he needs to do this and do this. I was in the program in a week. 
So I got into the program. I got into the class. I got in everything. 
And now the professor's telling me how to read because I got to read these articles every week and I'm like, I gotta read that article in a week. Like, you get done in a semester. And he's like, no, no, no, you're an NBA student. you didn't read in your engineering. 
Yeah, I read the equation and the answer in tobacco book. That's all I written an engineer and I didn't care about anything. else. And he's like, no, no, no, you got to read the article. 
You gotta read it all. And I'm like, oh, great. And he, he spent an hour going through how to read the research article. 
Yeah, yeah. I was like, damn. And within a month, another professor hires me. 
So they ended up giving me an office, paying for my degree, convincing me to get a PhD. And I ended up applying to 4 different programs and getting accepted into 3 of them because their master, their, their business never got together in time. So I ended up with 2 masters in business because they never got their PhD together. 
And then I got accepted to, um, what was it? Um, public health, engineering, and education with 3 colleges that accepted my, from my PhD for PhD. USF? 
All 3 of the colleges. And I wanted, I was like a 3D PhD. Let's do it. 
And they told me I was crazy. And I was like, well, hey, you're paying for it anyway. I don't care. 
And it was so funny because they talked me in at just two. So go ahead, just forget three. Pick 2 of them. 
And so I started public health and engineering. And I, I finished the engineering in tenure, so I almost finished the public health. So, it was really weird to do that because 10 years later, so I met my 2nd wife, just as I started my PhD, I was there from 04 to 08, doing a master's, and then I started my PhD in 08, I finished it in 17. 
And then she left me. When the hurricane hit. Hurricane hit on 911 and she packed up and she left and that was the last time I saw her. 
That was weird. So she left when the hurricane hit when I graduated. 2017, when the hurricane hit Tampa. Well, almost hit. 
Then they can't hit Tampa. But they tried. And, and, yeah, a couple. 
Two years ago then, and, yeah, they can't. No, it hasn't been a direct hit on campus since 201920, 1921. There hasn't been a direct. remember a couple years ago? 
It wasn't a direct hit. It was just that was just passing by. That wasn't a direct hit. 
The eye... The eye hitting Tampa. I had the eye has hit Sanibel and said, the other port down there. 
It hit it hit Newport Richie, but it hasn't hit Tampa, the Eye of the Storm. So it's getting closer, though. It's really bizarre because I was I was ready to cash in my chips when she left. 
I was like, oh, I'm all done now. Because, you know, I finished my PhD, my kids were already gone and married and happy and everything was finished and... So what do you think? 
Then my daughter had a baby. Like, what are you doing right now? So my daughter had a baby in St. 
Pete. And I said, oh, I got something to live for now. And I came over to St. 
Pete's, started biking around, and found an engineering firm, and they hired me as a senior vice president, an engineer firm. They wanted me to set up another office. Oh, I was like, So I just got divorced, so I got half the house over there. 
So I had like 80 grand in the bank wondering what the hell I was gonna do next. My daughter has a baby down St. D. 2 school teachers down in St. 
Pete, and they had a big, I still got 10 minutes. Well, tech, you know how therapy works. I thought it was, it's a 50 minute hour. 
Oh, really? I thought it was a whole hour. We schedule it for an hour, but in therapy, you have to give the therapist time to figure out what's next. 
To document, okay, what did we talk about? What were the main things? So I'm so incredible about this whole experience was when I came to St. 
Pete. They had a baby and they were both school teachers. And my my daughter was like, you know, I gotta stay home with my baby. 
Good for her. That's what I said, and they figured out a way to do it. They sold their house. 
They sold their pool, they sold their boat. They sold their, and they moved to his family, it was in Cincinnati. And they bought a big house and they got 20 acres of land. 
And that picture that you just saw, my granddaughter was dropped in the creek in their new property. That was the 1st picture they sent me. From, oh, they're actually in Kentucky. 
Kentucky. Yeah. So they just south of Cincinnati. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Cincinnati airport in Kentucky. Well, yeah, that's what I mean. 
I was so proud of her because she knew what she was doing. But then COVID hit. And they closed the engineer in office. 
And COVID gives me unemployment, puts my mortgage on hold. The city pays all my utilities. So I got this $1000 check every month, or every 2 weeks, and all I gotta do is buy pizza. 
Because I'm all by myself and there's 4 bedrooms, 3 baths. And I'm biking around downtown. I'm biking to my office and that's all I gotta do. 
And then my dad decides to leave Florida now. My mom died in 99. So now it's 20 years later, and he's done with Florida hurricanes, and he's ready to get the hell out of here. 
And I go help him clean out his house. And of course, I'm the black sheep, so everybody's fighting with me, and it was like, blood, cleaning out this house. And my stepmom is like, you know why you fight with your dad so much? 
And I'm like, weave her against the Rivera. It's always been me and my mom against the world, and she's like, no, your dad is a racist, narcissist that doesn't like Rivera, Raffi Rivera, and she explained it to me, and I was like, wow. And she's like, you know, all that's left in this house is your mom. 
And the Salvation Army is gonna come tomorrow morning, clean it out. We took everything else, and your brothers and sisters took what they wanted and all that's left is your mom's heart, and our pictures, and our mom's garbage. And I was like, really? 
And she's like, you come tomorrow morning, you can take anything you want. I called my buddy from college, one of the guys who worked with me, and we drove over there with 2 trucks, and my dad was there. helping us. I was scared to death, and she wasn't around, and he helped us blow up my truck. 
And I ended up with all this history from my mom. And I found out my mom was cat. And I was like, what's cat? 
So COVID hits, and I find out I'm a cat, and my daughter leaves. And I've been alone for 7 years, the St. Pete, learning what Catholic is. who Catholic is. 
Last week, I found out the Catholic is about your relationship with Jesus. And Jesus and I, old buddies, weeping. I mean, I met Mary in the woods. 
I started doing all these Catholic things 7 years. insane how many classes showed up, how many people, priests. This is just like the football player showing up from New Jersey. What the hell are you doing down here? 
Well, you stole this motorcycle. You were out the bay, and I know what you do. Well, yeah. 
What the hell are you telling me this for? I left that New Jersey. And so this morning. 
I picked up this book. What book? This book? 
This book? Just read the page, just one page, whatever you're inspired to read. Because you are a work in progress. 
I've been doing this since I've been here and nobody has ever believed me or understood me. What do you mean? And everything has been programmed and planned, and it's scary because there's so much synchronousity and so much coherence that has brought me... 
You think it's all coming together now? I know it is. And it's bizarre because I know what's gonna happen. 
And I still, they tell me that we might not make it to save a hundred. And I say, yeah, bullshit. You might not make it to what? 
To save the last 100 people here. Oh, I've heard that a 1000 times. And I still think we got 1000000s, but they still tell me that we might not make it. 
And it's really funny because when Chuck lost his wife, she showed up the night that she died, she knocked me over in my kitchen. And the first thing she wanted to know was whether we made it or not. And I said, I think we did. 
And she's like, you think that we got the last 100? And I looked at her, and I was like, oh, my God. What the hell? 
And her daughter came over the next day and told me that she died, and I didn't even know who she was when it happened. It's really bizarre because the classes that I'm doing now are helping me understand what's happened to him. And I go back. 
You used to see Shancy? She actually started and I told her to write a real report. and she told me that she wrote a real report. A real report for what? 
About my experience with Jesus. Oh, oh. And I said, you better write it all out. 
And she said, okay, I will. And I said, no, you got to write the name Jesus in there. And she said, well, I'll write a religious experience. 
And I said, you know, so if you wanna take me seriously, I'd leave this book here for you. I don't want you to leave anything here. You don't want me to leave anything? 
No? Okay. It's a boundary thing. 
I understand that. Because then I would be responsible for it. Why I offered because it's just being real? 
Because I have done that before and it really helps because... book is important to you. I got 100s of them. What's in the book? 
I know, but I never read any of them. Why not? Because I got I'm writing all the time. 
This is going to give you perspective. That's what journalings are. I'm going to say, well, you know, do you remember that? 
So, you should see the blog I'm working on. Yeah. Because that's the one I go back to. 
Because I'm doing the St. Ignatius spiritual exercises Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

I I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

COVID shut down everything

So my dad left Florida with COVID. And I helped, you know.

Yes, COVID shut down everything. I lost my company, everything closed, so they put me on unemployment and paid my mortgage and paid my utilities. 
And so my dad left Florida, and I helped clean out his house. And the last day, his wife says, you know, all that's left here is your mom's, and it's gonna get picked up by salvation army tomorrow. 


I called my buddy from college, and we got there with two trucks, and I brought home all my mom's history, into my house, here in St. Pete. And I found out my mom was Catholic. 


So I went next door to the Catholic Church, 'cause I live next to St. Paul's, and the Lent was starting. And so I picked up a lent guide, and I was reading it in the Narthex. 
I never knew what Catholic was. And that first day, walking over and picking up the Lent guide, Bonnie Condon saw me, and offered to help.

Oh, you know, Father Curtis just started over at Saint Raphael's, and he's starting classes. And I was like, classes? 
That's what I need. I don't know how to pray. I need to learn what Lent is. 
And she's like, yeah they have Mass again at 8am.  So I got on my bike, and I went over there, and I went to mass, and then I walked out, and talked to Father Curtis: "I understand you're doing classes."

And he goes, Oh, here's a book. 
It starts tomorrow. 

And it was the ladies, like after their CCW meeting, where they started "The Nine Grades of Prayer" by Teresa of Avila. So that was the first class that I got into with the ladies. 
And Mary was the one who... said something when we got to the ninth grade, and she said, “This happened to me,” and she described how she had that spiritual experience in her family. 

And it reminded me, and just like now, you got me started on a story, and I get lost in my story. And that was why I needed to turn this on because Father Curtis doesn't like me getting lost in my stories. 
So I got to be careful when I get into my stories. See, I've been talking only two minutes, so I'm doing good. And it's really important that I answer your question, right? 

So that's how I became Catholic. 
That's how I started in this church. And it was Father Kevin, during the second week in Lent that changed everything for me. I went to Mass at St. Paul's at 7, and I read my Lent Guide, and then I get to St. Raphael, at 8am.  Yes, like I said everything was closed with Covid so it was okay for me to figure out what Catholic was. And everything was paid for, so all I had to do was ride my bike around. 
I didn't have anything else to do. Company closed, COVID, everything was closed. And I started going to the churches, and doing the Lent, and the church, and the Lent, and the church, and the Lent. 


Now I'm sitting in mass with Father Kevin, and he says what I highlighted on the page in my Lent Guide. So here, in front of me, was the page where I highlighted something about my mom in the Lent Guide, and there it was right in front of me, and Father Kevin said the same thing. And I looked at it, and I read it over again, and I said, Oh, wow, this is really neat. 


So that's when I toke off my shoes. Because it's about my mom as I marked in my Lent Guide ... Each one, Teach one was what he said in his homily. 
The Native Indigenous practice of "Each person teaching a person." So it's each one, teach one. And it was his homily, and what's really funny, is now I got pictures of the Lent Guide in my current Catholic lessons now. 
You have heard of this guy. Have you done this yet ... done Saint Ignatius of Loyola. 


Right, yeah, you know, this is the class I'm doing now. So it's really cool, it's funny because it's all connected. 
It's all about Jesus coming through to us. Everywhere, and he's really getting excited, because we're starting to get our stuff together, and it's really wonderful, because we are ready to Live in the Kingdom of God.

So each one, teach one, and I wrote in a corner of my Lent Guide, that it was about sharing my mom's sermon.  So... so she died of cancer, and I found out about all the... corruption, and that's what my first Welcome Testimony was all about.  So the first one was about cancer, and how it's all made up by industry. It all about money. 
So, back to the shoes, Father Kevin said each one teach one, and my mom's cancer experience that I went through with her. Oh, my God. 
Showed me about the... grounding, this Native, traditional ways of healing. And that's what it was. 


So I'm standing there in Mass, and each one teach one, when I'm in there, and I write on the margin of my prayer guide, All right, my mom's sermon. And I had to go tell him. So I took off my shoes, right there, in the church. 
And I walked up to him, and I said, You know, thank you so much, because I gotta do my mom's sermon. And he says, What did your mom tell teach you? 

And I said, Well, my mom taught me how to connect to our own deeper knowing, and it was so funny because he looks down at my feet, and he's like, Oh, you don't have your shoes on. 
And I said, Yeah, and we're standing on this marble, and the energy just vibrates out in front of us. And he's, like, looking at it with me, and we both look up at each other, and everybody in the room is staring at us. And we're both, like... 
It was just, like, Twilight Zone. And I'm like... Oh, my God. 
And he's like, yeah, you gotta do your mom's sermon. And I was like, oh, shit. And so, the only time I preach is when somebody asks me why I'm barefoot. 
So I got the whole story out for you now and recorded it. . . .

physical body meets emotional and spiritual expansion

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you expect son. You saw more of your accident now sharing there at Three Daughters. You were surprised when we said for you to stop and have a beer. Thank you for only having the one and NOT ordering anything else. Each step you take with us will be getting more and more refined and specific like this. It’s what you experience. 

Like your accident you just saw. You were very demanding about returning, and we really had to work to get you to come back. You had a very powerful and nasty experience. Also you were really pissed off about it all. More than your son driving 80mph down I-4, and even more than the 9-11 hurricane that you “blew-off” . . . We didn’t think you could save a hundred, but we had to save one city and a hundred is really a lot of work for you to run the city. 

Those that are coming are not going to be able to help you … and yes we want you to post the  video here: https://go.shr.lc/46eRvdl. . . 

Why do I need to type now?

What will happen will really surprise you and you are ready. . . And the team you have is really a lot more powerful than you know. There is really a lot more than you’ve seen or known here. Like you need to remember and recognize the demands you made. Demanding GOD to save a million before you would even talk to him. 

Words from you are coming through my heart stronger and stronger. And you want me to share everything now and this is a challenge as well. I know I'm always safe and protected. Just like I know I am always guided and lead into things. This is always my blessing; but equally always a challenge never sure which way is up or what is ideal and appropriate one day to the next.

What The xiphoid process serves as the anatomical anchor and energetic gateway where the physical body meets emotional and spiritual expansion. When the heart fills with love, the physical expansion of the chest pulls on this structure, creating an open, upright posture often described in traditional wisdom as the heart "springing out." [1, 2] 

---

Cultural Wisdom & Metaphor

• The "Conscience Sword": Derived from the Greek xiphos (straight sword), ancient cultures viewed the xiphoid process as a literal guard over the core. In various Native American oral traditions, the conscience or inner moral compass is metaphorically described as a triangle or sharp object nestled at the base of the heart. When one acts in discord with love and truth, it twists and "jabs" the chest. Conversely, living with an open, loving heart aligns the center, alleviating this pressure and allowing the chest to lift freely. [1, 3, 4, 5, 6] 
• The Multi-Layered Heart System: In esoteric traditions detailing extended chakra systems (such as the Seven Hearts system), the xiphoid process marks the literal foundation of the heart complex. It houses the first subtler "heart center," which governs conscience, truth, and discernment. When a person transitions out of guilt or defensiveness into unconditional love, this bottom anchor balances, creating a sensation of upward-welling joy and emotional liberation. [7] 

---

Yogic and Somatic Exercises

To physically experience this area "springing forward" with vitality, practices must release the diaphragm and the upper abdominal attachments:

• Matsyasana (Fish Pose): Supported over a yoga block placed right beneath the thoracic spine, this posture directly stretches the front line of the body. It elevates the sternum and allows the xiphoid process to arch upward and outward, physically mirroring an open heart. [8, 9, 10] 
• Somatic Diaphragmatic Release: Place your fingers gently just below the bone tip of your xiphoid process. Take a deep inhale, feeling the abdomen expand. As you exhale, softly press your fingertips up and slightly under the rib cage margin while gently curling forward. Inhale to lift the torso back up, intentionally expanding the chest and letting the sternum bloom forward. [11, 12, 13] 
• Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose): Lying prone, anchor your pelvis and use the back muscles to pull the chest forward and up. Focus on extending the space between your navel and your xiphoid process to maximize the heart-opening effect. [1, 14, 15, 16] 

---

Anatomical Details

• The Structural Tip: The xiphoid process is the smallest, most inferior region of the sternum (breastbone). It originates as hyaline cartilage in infancy and gradually ossifies into hard bone as a person matures, a process that can take up to 40 years. [17, 18] 
• The Diaphragm Anchor: It serves as a vital physical attachment point for the muscular slip of the abdominal diaphragm. When you gasp in awe, breathe deeply, or laugh from a place of deep joy, the diaphragm contracts downwards, and the rectus abdominis ("abs") and costal cartilages stabilize against the xiphoid process, causing the chest wall to structurally expand and lift. [1, 17, 19] 

Would you like to explore specific somatic breathwork patterns to further open this chest region, or do you need a deeper look into the anatomy of the diaphragm?

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

[2] https://dreammeaningai.com

[3] https://www.calebsjournal.com

[4] https://lookoutmag.com

[5] https://www.osmosis.org

[6] https://www.shambhala.tf

[7] https://www.indianetzone.com

[8] https://www.facebook.com

[9] https://www.awakenedspirityoga.com

[10] https://www.ekattvayogshala.com

[11] https://my.clevelandclinic.org

[12] https://www.facebook.com

[13] https://centrekinesis.com

[14] https://balance.media

[15] https://chestnuthillyoga.com

[16] https://www.facebook.com

[17] https://www.innerbody.com

[18] https://www.healthline.com

[19] https://en.wikipedia.org. 

.

Word, I've been impressed with the detail and such listed above here, they still do not get to where I Am but its heading in the right direction. 

I've been stunned more and more about what is here or what is going on. Though I'm not convinced that I really know or even can ever know. Stay to works and get things done but then find I am not able to move forward or do anything at all. Like I kept falling asleep and not really moving at all or making progress. So I decided it was my fast, and I needed to eat something. Win yummy good healthy food. But I'm still really tied and ready to sleep. Yes I know I didn't steep last might

. What

Word!

What

What

I I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

moment of faith and respect;

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What Will happen now is exactly what God's grace is all about. Again son you are here free and able to do all things, easy at your fingers again. Know it's in that breath with Christ in your heart that makes it all move. You knew you wanted to tell Joseph that you loved him and hugged him. Ben helped you to step into the truth that you know and feel inside, it was important that you thanked him. And allow more to evolve and grow from your opportunities and insights. This is really a powerful undertaking where our love is expressed in many people. Each step and each action becomes more and more specific where this moment of love in silence and text maters more them ever. 

 

It is all about Your Word! Thank you so much for allowing this moment to sit and breathe. I love you so very much. To see how instantly I can post and write and share these deeper emotions and vivid experiences. It's really just remarkable to see and feel this moment with You and I know I can do anything with Your LOVE and GUIDANCE to Your Will! Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to move Forward clear into Your Passion and Truth this very moment of faith and respect; taking this slow and careful to be in complete Union and respect for what is really happening here. 

What you will experience is a stronger sense of Passion and Joy with the connection to earth and love babbling into your heart. Fearless just know you are able to do all things exactly as you have dreamed of. Everything is perfect, it all fits exactly like you dreamed at the very beginning. Stay in the Heart Love son!!!

 I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.  Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ

I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ

I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ

how clear this gets KNOWing more

I really LOVE YOUR Word!  And yes I'm done with my yard work and showered now all clean and ready for anything.

What are you feeling now?

I now this experience with you is the greatest blessing ever as I ask for your participation and your expression more I realize again how much further I really need to come. Yes, I know I've still not been able to record my experiences with you the way that you asked and wanted but I've gotten closer and closer. You think that it was as obvious and simple as we first spoke about it years ago. And I know it's got more meaning and purpose than I could ever share or really understand.

What are you feeling now?

I really know your power and opening here will be so much more than ever.

What are you feeling now?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! Yes, I realize how I've been breaking up my writing with three blogs, and paper journals and all. I realize how this confuses people, and I've always accepted my spontaneous actions. . . 

What this means is that you repeat things in each. This allows for you to evolve and grow more strongly. Like describe your experience yesterday. 

I . . I started with Mass in the morning.  Yes as noted here ==> and I was surprised as I felt the Love and Blessing of BEing married to Jesus.  This deeper feeling really carried with me throughout the day. More so as I realize now, understanding what the day held for me. 

After mass I went through my readings and works before me,  and realized I was biking south to Central that I would be passing the Park's Directors office again.  Yes, last weekend it was Kilani's Birthday. When I asked what "she wanted" to do for her day . . . she wanted to go biking!

Of course, her bike had a flat tire now.  She let one of the neighborhood boys ride her bike. Yes she helped me fix her bike brakes before.  And I told her that her brother couldn't touch it because he alway refused to help. So she helped me fix her flat, and learned about that. And then we went biking.

We went around the church and then down 17th Ave to Woodlawn Park across 16th St.  She saw the kids playing Softball so we stopped to watch.  She kept asking me about joining the team so she could play and I told her she needed to ask them.  We even saw someone keeping score or tracking the games and I told Kilani to ask her about joining a team. She never did.

But in our travels and wondering I noticed the St Pete Parks department office. . . So Monday riding by it again I stopped in and asked for the Park Director and spoke to his assistant who told me I had met with the previous director on site and that someone would call me about this.

yes, and what was your experience yesterday biking. 

I know, I finally tried to record my conversations with spirit as I biked.  Yes, I sit back riding no-hands and have such a wonderful sense of peace and joy cruising along with the breeze and birds chirping. Course I've realized this is ideal to share and talk with Jesus, even more free and spontaneous than this blog gets.  So biking out to Central to visit Shancy I had this powerful experience oh how my voice could be directed easily by my heart with Jesus.  Course, speaking with Jesus is always a challenge because we "think" about it and our ego and consciousness interferes with the true expression from the Love in our Heart. 

keep going get deeper into What you EXPERIENCED. 

I really recognized this Love in Union with Jesus Deep in my heart, and How this Love could direct my voice to speak out loud so that I could hear my own voice of Love meaning more than ever in my head.  Yes, the Heart Joy and Love spreading to my voice to reach my head.  And like now seeing these words, or hearing my words means more to me than ever.  Like I shared with Shancy how lucky I felt having this Love and Joy with Jesus all the time.  And how recording myself helped me understand my own experience more deeply.  And sharing this with her that moment, literally minutes after biking in and learning how to share more deeply.  

What did you tell her.

I told her I needed her to understand this more deeply and opened my blogger page on her PC so she could see and read this deeper experience: https://journal2mygod.blogspot.com/2000/ .  I've told countless people about this experience that I have then opened this picture and showed her the dates at the bottom.  Her eyes like bugged out, I cold se and feel the joy and deeper understanding as she could READ and SEE more than just HEAR. Exactly like my bike ride in where I could HEAR and understand my own voice at a deeper level than ever.

What does this make you feel now?

I really LOVE, how clear this gets KNOWing more when I can READ, SEE and HEAR. . . it brings more of our senses inline and makes this knowledge and understanding deeper than ever.  Each level here bring a Higher Vibration and a stronger Experience of this Divinity we all share. . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ.

no matter what, nothing could stop you.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you feeling now?

I really feel like going to sleep. I've tried a few times. But all I seem able to do is eat. I was up at 3am with the Prayerline, and really had some wonderful calls again. I made my coffee and fruit salad then which was great. Then later at 10am or so I made some eggs. Yea sausage, toast and an omelette with cheese tomatoes and arugula. It was really yummy and I was surprised I actually ate it all.

We have been getting you ready for more each day. You find tasks easily as you readily step into everything we place before you.  This has been designed to get you ready for more.  Each day you see more set before you. Each day you DO as you are lead to. This will become more and more important as you progress. Recognize that you can fill these events with your Joy and Love that resonates much further and beyond your comprehension.  Remember your story with Emily about the Motorcycle accident. You were completely fearless, of course you threw your helmet at them.  You knew you would be fine, no matter what, nothing could stop you. And you stepped into everything with this clear strength and confidence never even considering that any other option was even possible. Nothing could interfere or slow you down. And the road block or hurdle was ALWAYS there to bring you to a better faster path and purpose. You were always pushing beyond limits and you could do it very strongly, and easily.  

! I get it. I know I need to step more strongly into all that I can do and have the opportunity to do. I know I'm going to be 16 again, and I know I need to start stepping more strongly into these things that I already know.  Wow, that was weird. I just had the strong sensation of walking into the place and knowing exactly what I was doing and exactly how to do and get what I wanted. It was almost like walking through walls again.  I mean, this world is all twisted with satan and greed and arrogance everywhere so my holding back to avoid offending anyone or something useless and pointless like that is limiting and really just shooting myself in the foot . . . Even insulting God, that I even question what he has given to me 

God is the Very Essence of “TO BE!”  The BEING without restriction or limitation, a Love that overflows to all things now . . .  

What are you getting at here?

I know it's about just doing it. Not thinking, not planning. . . . ok plan some!

What about just accepting that the plans have already been done and here before you is all that we had planned from the start. Recognize of course as You step into more and more the ease and the progress will become almost magical. We love to surprise you and as you step in more and get more engaged this element of surprise will also get more pronounced and stronger still before you. 

And of course the Mass readings of today are all on the same page as well. As I know each day I am gifted with more and more that I had never considered, asked for on anticipated.

What then do you really pray for. And be filled with Thanksgiving to acknowledge God’s Goodness, Praise to acknowledge God’s Greatness and Worship to acknowledge God’s Holiness!

Please dearest Lord God, Grant me peace in my home where all the Bills and Expenses are addressed and covered in ease. Provide the financial support I need now to visit my son and catch up on everything I need to repair and maintain this home. Thank you Dearest Lord God, I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ

Welcome praise for your love dear Lord Jesus Christ…

I’m always so grateful to you share this moment with you.

I know this is really all about you taking over everything and sharing this love and blessing forever, . And now again it gets really beautiful and passionate how deeply this love lasts.

Having family and joy and love is all about the experience we have to acknowledge admit 15. attest 29. appreciation 2. receipt 16. acknowledgment 30. discern 3. recognize 17. confirm 31. accuse 4. mention 18. confess 32. observe 5. notice 19. affirm 33. convict 6. know 20. reward 34. agree 7. cite 21. confirmation 35. indict 8. accept 22. acknowledgement 36. see 9. allow 23. testify 37. greet 10. grant 24. tribute 38. accommodate 11. approve 25. admission 39. welcome 12. endorse 26. understand 40. applaud 13. concede 27. appreciate 41. thank 14. avow 28. commend 42. realize

This has been written and rewritten. And I realize the autosave on my blogger app only works in "draft" mode. I've been witting all sorts about the podcasts that I’ve heard this morning and it's vanished a few times . . . Yes, I’ve seen so much more here before me to experience more joy and goodness in Christ today. I realized I could get an awesome sunrise and bike ride again today.

And thanksgiving is about sharing that beauty and experience of God's love in this earth all around us. And each moment I see and experience more of this awesome experience and beauty in Jesus. And I know I must pray and honor god before me. 

Wow, it’s always such a surprise how things comes together all at once and I'm totally surprised and equally filled with Joy and Bliss as I know we designed all of this and if we are making it work now then we are likely to save the whole place.

I need you to know Dear God that I'm ready to do anything with You and it's really important that You come here and share this with me. You have me teaching everyone about the Garden of Eden and both in my yard, my church, and my school. Soon also in the courts and press beyond all reason. Yes, I know we can really do everything and save everyone. And this really means that you are present with us always.

Yes, I know more than ever, that there is so much coming together here again. And it's clear that I'm ready for anything.  Which really means I need to get specific and focused as possible to step more strongly into What's before me.

Love your place, love your power. Love your focus, love whatever shows up next. And know we are with you through everything.

Yes dear Jesus, Saints Mary and Joseph I am so very grateful to share this experience with you all. I accept and intend this next creation together to be focused on bringing more of Your Love and Truth into this city.

Love is where we all belong.

I know, and I’m ready to do whatever this means and step in further if I understand or not. . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to achieve as You WILL!

my head starts spinning not knowing where to start

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ  . . .I just updated my iPod Pro to another 26.6 Beta, and I'm already impressed. I know Apple has gone crazy to make it all work perfectly for me. And I still send in some problems whenever I can. Yes of course, I'm always breaking things and trying to do things it’s not figured out yet. But I've really been so impressed.

Yes, even now as I write script all across my iPad with this little white pen, and hope it can translate my scribbles. Yes, it gets better and better at this. Every time it feels like I'm starting over training the thing. It's really funny as I know they are coming out with the "ultra" versions of everything, so I know that somehow I will be getting all the upgrades. Still not sure how or where or when. But it really feels like common knowledge, like Claire and I building the first servers with a constant archive of everything. So much about these tools really just fit and seems so obvious to me.

What you have now is about greater power and focus. Everyday you step into more and find more. We have told you several times that this is really only starting. There is really so very much more coming together before you. 

I can’t sleep I don’t know what I need to write about, but I just went over and picked up my iPhone and turned on the blog and now I’m talking to it. I don’t have my glasses on, so I can’t see how bad it’s translating. Text to talk, or talk to text, whatever it’s doing. I realize that I’m digging deeper into my history and I don’t know what that means. I understand it’s about getting stronger about my vibration and my effect on others. I don’t know what the history will bring out. I do remember odds and ends here and there. But I’m really not sure how bad it was, like the story of the cops being afraid of me. It’s almost surreal.

Yes, I always considered my life sort of surreal. I started writing to understand, and now record as much as possible to understand deeper. But then it feels like I'm trying to prove things, because no one ever believes me. . . lol, it's always fun to share my stories as people get lost and loose touch, it's always beyond reason.  I mean how can anybody survive, and still keep going I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say now, I don’t know where this is going talking to my iPhone in the middle of the night. I feel like I’m ready for anything of course. Which really means that it’s gonna be a powerful experience again. I mean, that’s all I ever have anyway. I was doing things and nobody else can do, doing things that nobody else can understand, doing things that I don’t even understand. I do it anyway in Christ. In Christ I’ve been able to do almost anything . . . I used to joke about walking through walls, till I saw it happen. Which is really kind of funny because it was the first thing I did when Jesus brought me back home. Sure I can handle Spiritual stuff. What do you want me to do, and I know I could handle anything, but the difference is to make something Spiritual, supernatural, magical, a mystical whatever where I’ve been there and done that. So I really wonder what could be next. I wonder if that’s what’s keeping me up right now; trying to sleep when my mind is racing, and racing through scenarios, racing through opportunities, wondering what could be next.

I know I really end up creating things all the time. So just wondering what it could be about, in creating something that I never thought of before. So I stopped to think about it and dream about it and then I end up creating something completely new. Me create it all, so it’s kind of funny that I get surprised all the time even though I know I do this. I guess that’s something Jesus likes to do, he always likes surprising me so I guess that’s what’s next is getting more surprises.

What do you feel now?

I visited one of my professor yesterday and she was complaining about back pain and such like Lisa did years ago.  Course I thought about taking her outside and taking off her shoes. And never said a word about it.  She left at the same time as me, to go visit a doctor about surgery. Yes, back and neck surgery!  Eeek. . . as weird as it was I knew I had to say something. When we left she commented about me being barefoot saying I could never be hired full-time if I was barefoot all the time.

What happened now? 6/3/2026 10:15:51am

I went outside. I fasted yesterday, so I was so happy to make an omelette this morning.  Yes Cheese and everglades tomatoes. I have hundreds of little red tomatoes all over my yard. I invite Larry and Leslie to breakfast, but then only ate half alone, putting the rest in he fridge. So yes now I went outside knowing I need to clean and work and all. I walk around a bit and my head starts spinning not knowing where to start or what to do.  I've got so much to do outside.  I started replanting things as I got some seeds with Emily so I want to start growing more.  Yes big mess outside my back door.

What about starting with the obvious, you don't need to step over one mess to clean another. Like you did your kitchen first last week, what about starting here and getting things done here first.

I get it. I've cleaned the kitchen and started at my porch stoop outside my back door. . . lol, oh and my front door. I've got plants starting everywhere and I need to make some pots really nice to set them out where they look best.  It's so neat how the plants always ask for this or that. "can I get a bigger pot; con i get moved over there, can this be shifted and changed" . . . i hear them all, it's almost like they are screaming at me trying to be the next one to et my attention.  It's really wonderful and I'm always feeling so loved and supported with each step I take.

What about your studies?  Yes I know that's where I need to be working. . . 

Thank you Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

time for me to get more serious

5/1/2026 8:29pm  I need to get more deeply into my Bible studies and readings with You Dear Lord Jesus Christ. It’s always about me growing and learning. Always much more beyond me, that I don’t always understand. It’s such a challenge sometimes too. I was up awake at midnight, and tried to sleep but then popped-up at 2am thinking I might as well get busy since I wasn’t sleeping. But then at around noon I was ready to sleep again, so I tried to nap.  No luck!

Wow this music it TOO LOUD!

I’m glad to get into a Free concert about Jesus, but I wouldn’t have paid for it. I’m nervous about my ears… it’s way too loud for me. Or at least I’ve not been in a place so loud in a long time,.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

We want you to share and write more.

I 

I

I know

11:42:43 5/24/2026 

    This Word with you is getting more powerful and stronger all the time. I know you brought me here to share more about the wonderful blessing that I see. It's really kinda weird how many times I've said that or shared something just remarkable to whomever could be listening. Just so you all know, when Claire and I created the first email servers at Hillsborough County and USF, it was really the model for the State, Country, and World. So we built a public email. system designed to copy and retain everything. I realize now that this giant archive is what the AI systems are all built on. Creating a real strong secure database of human knowledge was simply ground zero. All human technology has been created for this same purpose. I mean, the first rock scrapes in the caves were about sharing knowledge. It all started by counting and recording information. First numbers, ONE, then scrapes on the stone or stick for two, three, four. Pictures and words developed from these numbers we started with.

    Now again all the knowledge on Earth, steps back to the Human numbers attempting to record knowledge separate from God. But it's really about Knowledge, Truth and Love IN GOD. It's really all the very same things. Like creating water, you might want to separate oxygen and hydrogen . . . but it's not going to last, everything cycles back to where it starts. Like here in the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit . . . . wow, faster than ever. . . (To select those words I wrote, right click, search, cut and paste, done here;

The seven gifts are: 

1. Wisdom: The ability to judge rightly, see things from God's perspective, and value spiritual matters over worldly ones. 
2. Understanding: A deeper comprehension of the truths of faith and the mysteries of God. 
3. Counsel (Right Judgement): The ability to know the right course of action and make good moral decisions. 
4. Fortitude: The courage and spiritual strength to stand up for your faith and endure adversity. 
5. Knowledge: The ability to understand the meaning of God's will and the truths of religion. 
6. Piety: A deep reverence, love, and respect for God and devotion to His service. 
7. Fear of the Lord: A profound awe and wonder of God, which inspires a deep respect and a desire to avoid displeasing Him

What is remarkable beyond all else is how much each day shifts in power and focus. Consider for a moment Son. . . WHAT IF, you were actually the only one left listening. And that hundred people I asked for would even be a challenge now. How many people do you think are here that really understand you. Or even Care?  Or consider to ask? Have you ever seen any comments in your blogs? You know there are thousands reading here daily. But you even know that all your relatives and ancestors across the galaxies savor every letter you type.  They even feel the vibrations as you alone are singing and dancing to this Love you Have.

I Thought we agreed it would be millions or the whole World! 

What we have now is no guarantees.  You are just beginning to get serious about this experience before you.  It’s really kinda remarkable how much you have been able to complete. and each day that you step into more you really have no idea how much it changes. Each word you share brings soo much greater power and focus into the shifts before you. You are sending the vibrations for change everywhere. We really wouldn't be surprised if you saved everyone. . . . 

I would really love you to share more of Your Word!  What have I done that works best?, and where can i really make the best effort for changes and creations that would be IDEAL FOR YOU TO RETURN NOW!

What is more remarkable about your question, is feeling the power and focus YOU PUT into sitting, typing, considering, . . You got a glass of wine, reset a few other things. Sat up straight, centered in your space, and clear specific priority to know where you can make it easier for us to RETURN NOW . . . . and it's really a passion about loving God. Really wanting in the deepest power of truth and love makes each keystroke reverberate to the ends of time itself. You recently were able to share the experience of your Angel Readings that you did in high school. Yes, you did them in high school too. It was college when you had the professional regression hypnosis that you spoke about yesterday, but you did in-fact witness actions of angels a great multitude of times.  Where you went was for everyone. Seeing your father lose-his-temper over playing catch with a baseball, and then seeing and accepting how he had the SAME experience with his father . . . and All FATHERS have done this. So that spiral of light was created by your Love into this memory of forgiveness reverberated through countless generations of father and sons.

I get it . . . it's time for me to get more serious about this . . . I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.43311 40 years anniversaries communicating the gospels of the lord, and continue to support today 40 years of broadcasting in west central florida. . . we are Your Spirit FM.4:34:13 5/24/2026

share as a prayer

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! I’m so grateful to have this moment with you. 

What happened today?

I realized my USF classes end on Friday, and then the SPC classes end two weeks later. And then I go visit my daughter! It’s really wonderful, or is supposed to be. I also had three or four people ask me today about buying my house. One said something else closed in court, so I’m nervous about that too. Course I know I’m safe an protected but still get nervous. I also realize it more of a reminder for me to step into more of what I’ve asked for. Like being sixteen again, lol, or STILL!

Like this morning on the prayerline I was thrilled to have someone new ask an ‘open-ended” question allowing me to really share and explain what I share as a prayer and the knowledge I’ve developed. But then he would twist my words and claim weird shit . . . “Oh you said this. . . “ it was really weird, and the guy started getting really rude. I’ve been told before to never tolerate anything, and to just end the call if people get rude.

Yes, I was grateful I did end this. But that energy and experience it gave me was strong and carried most of the day. And then the housing crap dug deeper into that same negative toxic feelings. And then again I realize it’s about keeping the motion of the energy. I’ve noticed this with food too, like it’s really obvious to me, how sugar is addictive. 

Why haven’t you prayed about it?

I’ve not really learned to pray for myself yet. While it’s gotten so very clear and powerful with everyone else. I’m feeling more, seeing more, I’ve been saying names as I pray!  Bruce Daniels!!  And I even said my dad and family in tears the other night. But this Alone has been difficult, so to get to prayers and asking for me. What else could i possibly need. I’ve never or not asked for much. I always feel like I have too much. I ask for my children, my Church Brothers, and my Students, but not really for myself much. 

What’s stopping you now?

I know! You always want me to pray more, write more, share more and more . . . Always making it sound so easy. 

What are you waiting for, knock, and it will be opened to you. Matt 7:7

I’m sorry!  Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to sustain me into Your Word better. Guide my thoughts, words and deeds to fulfill your Glory. Yes, Dear Jesus, bring me success in school, more classes to teach, and stronger security at home. LEAD me through the legal shifts before me to bring me greater peace at home. Guide me to find You Peace and ease in your works. AMEN.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

actually sharing the experience

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What happened now?

I got downstairs to meet with Dick and I’m a whole hour early!  It was funny as I tossed and turned in bed the last hour thinking I should get up soon so I didn’t miss him. Or more importantly that I was present and ready for whatever we were doing next . . . And so I got downstairs and had a text message from Linda at the PrayerLine. Wow, I was invited to her party. . . 

What happened to you?

I, I , I, started to cry since Michelle from the JoyFm is HOSTING IT.

What you remember of this experience is going into the empty house . . . . flashing to questions of suicide. You were Convinced you were finished and not wanting to continue . . . And Madison was born with Michelle announcing it on the radio. . . This was what saved your life. $444.44 vacay ur way donations started then at theJOYfm.com.

After actually sharing the experience with Michelle to all the ladies in the Divine Chaplet meeting. Another awesome grace in my life, was seeing the blessings showing up all around me. Then I had this awesome experience of racing home on my bike to catch Brent for our lent talk. And I noticed it was almost time to start, so I pulled over at Crescent Lake Park. And sat here under this beautiful oak tree! And I don’t wanna get up! It’s so beautiful here. I am so blessed, I’ve been making this chicken soup. Sharing It with people and I feel people healing and growing all around me! It’s so wonderful. I know Jesus is with me and I know what I have to do and keep doing! But I don’t know what that means. Whatever shows up, is the latest blessing and experience i get into. Like I was crying in the Spirit Song this morning so I knew I had to tell everybody everything about Michelle! I think I actually got it all out too, wow . . . Even recorded myself.

What about getting out there now and cleaning or finishing something as it is very apparent you have so very much to do all around you. Each day you try and each day you get caught into these things that really serve no one. You had a wonderful morning and shared a lot. Now you have reviewed all your recordings and see and know what you’ve shared and done. You have written about it and perplexed in detail. Now you need to move on and do whatever is next. 

I get it. And I know my dream and application of life at 16, is really where I belong and it's not something I’ve done yet. I'm always saying I can do that tomorrow. I'm trying to stay at ease, is bed, in spirit, and peace!

What about sixteen and being real about all these responsibilities that surround you each moment. 

I know! Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Please fill me with Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom for me to more deeply understand and share Your Truth, Love and Experience fully in my daily life. Guide me to complete all the tasks around me. Fill me with the fortitude and desire to complete each new project defined before me. Father I ask for Your Deeper Spiritual connections and ambitions to fulfill all the Plans and Dreams GOD HAS CREATED IN FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST.