usually totally perplexed

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What have you done now. . . 

It was kinda weird, as I was preparing for another Court Hearing Justin asked me to leave! What? Yes, he had really planned for an intern, not a PhD. The tasks he was giving me, were all canned, where he wanted the boxed versions updated, no new thought, no new insight, just get the job done so he can bill for it. All focused on the cash flow, and not interested in developing something that’s real and lasts. Course, I can only build stuff that’s real and lasts, so the incompatibility came out again and again. 

Interesting as it was, he asked me to leave the day before I had a full day of hearings. Perfect timing to bring clarity and focus to court. What a joke court was. I did say specifically how the whole thing was a show, like a comic strip that anyone with common sense could see through. . . . Except the cop, who always thinks he knows better and must be right. Catherine pulled it off and I was NOT GUILTY, so it’s all just crap on my record now.

Now with the police negligence, bankruptcy, foreclosure and tenant fraud it seems like I’ll be in courts full-time for a while. AS odd as it seems, in the middle of it all last week, I got a call from the DEO who told me they had more COVID funds for helping homeowners in Florida. I told her I already had a foreclosure notice, and she said they could expedite it all. WOW?! I told her my monthly bill, and then the total due after the forbearance. . . “Expedite” in government usually can mean a week instead of a month. . . Or a month instead of a year. . . Which feels like I’ll be getting another call this week.

What did you feel with this.

Yes Jesus, I again felt the endless Blessing of You Providing for me! I did cancel my last mortgage payment. I mean why pay them anything if they already gave me the foreclosure notice.  That means with my last check due in today, I’ll have almost $10k cash.  I’ve lived a whole year on less than that before. So I am more fearless than ever. I’m still fighting my “dad’s program” that the “man is in a job 5 days a week.” It’s not been easy for me to let go of this, and I still apply and ask for another job almost every day.  But I also realize you are leading me into something very specific and strong that I need to do.

What else would we be doing. You know that’s been your place all the time. Now more than ever, you need to decide and create your place in all of this.

I know I’ve been clear about this and working diligently to do whatever I find needs to get done. Like I rewrote the Exodus 90 “Why Statement” with Kevin and Dick, who both provided direction and insight for this. I even have written it out on my wallpaper picture for my iPhone and this iPad:

 

We love that you have your favorite pictures set there in the heart as well. Each time you see this you have this flutter of joy and peace so grateful for the memories and experiences that you created and shared with so many.

I sometimes wonder if that was the best I ever could do and it’s all downhill from there now.

We have shown you countless times how much you change and influence all those around you. There is a lot of power and focus in these experiences that you have and whenever you share and witness to others about the events and blessings you have seen it moves mountains.

I just never seem to know which end is up. Like I push for work, or school, or home, or STARS, or something else. Each time thinking this will be my next fifty years or at least a year or two. I try to stay present and focus on replying to the real issues that appear before me. And suddenly everything shifts again? I always try to stay present and recognize that I’ve got more important things each moment You show up and ask for something. I mean, I’m usually totally perplexed and never seem to know what possible goals there are, wondering what this could be about or what You could need next.

We have always been pretty clear. Knowing you can get through anything is always a big advantage. 

I get it. But I’ve done the fort, and family, and business, and school! I’ve taught classes and guided instructors and even Guru’s. It’s just weird to consider that I’ve got more to do. Yes, I know its more that no one else is doing, or more something that others can’t address or understand.

We have you there where you need to be. Stay slow and steady, everything is set for this next shift we are all needing and wanting.

I get it.  I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to guide and lead me to fulfill all that Is . . . .