slow at getting anything started

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What we need you to do now is start following through with all you need to do. ONE DAY IN YOUR HOME, was where you started. You can fix the whole place in One Day. You need to do ONE DAY in the garage as well. You could spend the whole day in the Garage, or House, or Yard, or Office. . . That needs to be your first week. 

I get it, and that’s only four days, as I know it will require six. So I’m wondering if that’s two for each instead of only one!

What about gettin busy, and adding the extra day in the area you wake to that’s not complete. 

I’m really not very focused or productive yet. The only day I spent in my office was barely gettin started on anything. And now again I’ve been very slow at getting anything started or done at all. I know it’s lunch time already, and I barely feel like I finished breakfast. Linda and Carol have reached out so writing and helping them has taken time too. 

What about Dick this morning?

It’s interesting how you get me there. I did have a good chat with him, and seemed to just ramble on about my own challenges and experiences more than usual! I guess his questions and focus were very clear and powerful. Again, he was asking more about you. I know my experience here with You seems to be more powerful than ever. I understand, it’s important that I write about it. I also struggle with that responsibility even as it gets easier and easier for me. 

What about Dick?

I know I gave him all the audio I recorded, and then checked my drives of data for him to browse. Once again you are reminding me about getting more organized and clear about what I know and need to share. I did mention to him about my five day or six day work week. And I know this is really part of “my job” that I’m doing now. And yes I even mentioned about my server and blogs and tons of data I can coordinate and publish more focused!

What we appreciated was how you started with the Earth Creation with the Lords Words: Let there BE Light, Water, Land, birds, Fish, and Mankind who is Very Good. And you now start with you morning times in the Light of God, with the Waters touched with the Mangroves you set into the Land to restore the Birds the Fish and Mankind. You have returned to start here where you belong. And you reach to share more of this and know the love and beauty that you have created and brought forward for all to see.

I get it’s important again to share how I am able to share this Love with you! And how much You Bring Through to me as I write: 

What a good place to start. . 

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Awareness Witness

Christian Awareness Witness

I need to be in this more. Please Dear Jesus lend me with Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to stay focused and clear about this task before me. God Grant me the Grace to stay in clarity. 

I need to write 3000 words, or roughly 6 pages of my experiences getting to know Christ more intimately. This is really a challenge because there are so many aspects of this that I know. Where should I start, and where should I focus. I’m ready to go back to bed now. I really want to hide and not address anything. 

Write our origin story, everyone loves these stories. “Tell me the story of how you and mom met.” Pick the one topic and start with a letter to Kevin.  Kevin represents my ideal client who I need to prepare this for.

My dad was in the navy and found my mom when he was on leave at port in Puerto Rico. I grew up inNorthern New Jersey outside of NY. My life experience has been much like a sign wave where I’m focused and engaged with Jesus through high-points and then crash and burn in despair whenever I get distracted.

When I came to Saint Pete I was starting over after a divorce in Tampa. I had been hired to setup a new engineering office focused on my work doing stormwater master plans and river models.  I moved into my newSaint Pete home on December 13th, 2019. 13 weeks later on March 13, 2020, COVID closed my office and I got a forbearance on my mortgage and weekly unemployment checks searching for anything I could do in the city.

I wasn’t biking to work anymore, but continued to bike out every day. They closed as much as they could,but the public parks and bike paths stayed open.

Soon my Father who lived in Land o’ Lakes decided to leave Florida and I spent a week helping him pack tomove. My mother had passed in 1999 and this move was a major shift for him leaving Florida and cleaning out the history of my mom. During this experience I learned more about my mother.

I ended up getting paintings and art she had collected. The big tapestries that my mom had in the house forever are now central in my new home. I got all the family pictures that she had collected now that my fatherwas cleaning out the family home to move north. I had twisted my ankle helping my dad, and buried my foot in the sand on my next bike trip along the St Pete waterfront.

Now, I'm reminded of first arriving in Tampa for college, and feeling like I was in a time-warp back into High School, where everyone was struggling and trying to figure out what I had already done the last ten-years. Course, I'd been down this road over and over again? Do you think I could get it right this time? Andwhat does it mean to get it right? Does this mean being someone else? Does this mean being who I AM? Does this mean BEing more than I AM? How could I BE MORE? 

What is it that I'm exploring or trying to understand now, that is beyond me, or forcing me to grow and achieve more My father had raised us in a Methodist Church, but my mother was Catholic. Soon after this experience with my dad, I noticed a Lent Guide in the local Protestant church I was invited to from work. I learnedhow Lent was primarily a Catholic tradition and decided to visit the Catholic Church next door to my home in St. Pete. As I walked into Saint Paul's for mass I picked up a Lent prayer guide at the entrance. As I was leaving I returned to the entrance to find any additional prayer guides to assist me.

At this time, someone noticed me exploring and asked if she could help, I told her I wanted to learn how prayand this was my first time exploring Lent. Bonnie told me there Father Curtis was new at Saint Raphael’s Catholic Church a short distance away on Snell Island and he was beginning some new classes that might meet my needs.

I biked over to catch the 8am Mass lead by Fr Curtis. After Mass I asked him about learning how to pray and hetold me about the “Nine Grades of Prayer” course starting the next morning after the 8am Mass. I got the book right then and showed up the next day for mass and then class. The class was very familiar and that was very clear that I was in the right place to the right thing. Soon I realized that it was all women in the class and they told me how it was right after their morning meeting And the men’s group That I could go to, so the women invited me to the men’s group meeting and asked their husbands to welcome me which they did and I started in the men’s group starting with Exodus 90.

I mean, my mom warned me countless times about false prophets and spirits who could pretend to be "Christ" or God, or anything inside our heads. 

She always told me how Jesus brought us the "Word," where no one else could ever answer to His Name. It was the best way to make sure I was only talking to God...

Now, the real experience is knowing what tasks I have to do and doing them. Like completing this letter for your Mondaymorning, editing all the work we’ve done and adding critical details and power where it feels necessary.  And really using this technology that I have asked for all my life. I can hand write with a pen, talk, or type each goes digital, spell checked and ready to share . . . . . Each adds new ideas and experiences to this note!

Likemy journal from high school still in my Great Grandmothers Trunk, sharing thoughts and communication is how I evolve, this is what I’ve always done!

90 was wonderful experience! This was my first exodus 90. This was my 1st men's group. This was my 1stmen's fraternity. I was doing regular exercise, I was biking to church. I was doing yoga with the sunrise, I was swimming. My morning experience with God was shifted up to another level.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word. '

We are always with you, ready to guide and help with every step. It's not so much a challenge or conflict to pull you out of step, but more an opportunity to create more and share more at a deeper level.

I’m not sure what I'm doing. I cleared up my back yard to have the men's group over again. But made no effort to remind anyone about it. I did build a big fire, and it’s getting chilly so I'm really enjoying it now. But I'm really ready for bed.

What a wonderful experience to share with us. You really go out of your way to love the moment, and enjoy everything that appears before you. You rarely are concerned about the details, and simply accept whatever we suggest and place before you. Like now you have been alone in your house for several days working on this Witness Writing that you have prepared. And again now as you share the insights we have for you now. You begin to feel and experience deeper thoughts and feeling about what you can share in this witnessing.

What jumps out to me is to WATCH, LISTEN, PERCEIVE, ATTEND, CLEARLY FOCUSED, READY, AND SLOW . . . To my passions MANGROVES, GARDENS, PLANTS, PEOPLE, which feels like 

USF RESEARCH, PATENTS, TRUTH.

1.         CHURCH        ????? = is really defined as the loving relationship in Jesus, Father, and Spirit
2.          SCOUTS            ???? = is about loving my neighbor, teaching children and families
3.           CLEAN HOUSE   ??? = is about loving me, my space and all Jesus has given to me
4.            CLEAN OFFICE     ?? = is about loving my responsibility to care for all these loves
5.             USE OFFICE            ? = is reinforcing these loving responsibilities above
6.              WWW.      = is really about teaching, and publishing all the above . . . 

IS THIS MY NEW FULL TIME JOB, six days a week for Jesus: each one of these needs to be DONE every week, and every day. I’ve been trying to focus 3-4 hours daily to each one.

         SCOUTS, HOUSE, OFFICE, 

w/             CHURCH    A real foundation

I realize again that I’m starting over. And so I did my everything today but swim. I even did two sets at 12 exercises, instead of 24 like I finally did last week. I attended to the mangroves, added another branch in there next to them to hold onto. Then everything I heard and read in the gospel and in the liturgy, all remind me of who I am again! Yes, I got the same message over and over again! I know it’s about what I have to do! It’s always about what I have to do!

Now my work days have been defined. And if I did one of these tasks in one day every week, I’d be done with everything within a month or two. I mean really focused and clear on the one task. 

What did you figure out?

I can plan 4 hour blocks, or three hour blocks. Each day I can plan to do “X” for three hours. . . Or let’s see 5-6am Exodus, JoyFM Pods and prayer at 6am doing exercises and getting up clear and focused. Then bike to Beach for 7am sunrise. . . Mangroves, and swim to get back home by 9am?

Friday, Saturday, and/or Sunday will be 8am mass.  Then Tuesday its 630am Mass till Men Fraternity at 730am.  Hum, maybe Mass and the Rosary then too? So then Monday, Wednesday, Thursday is 8-9am office work?  Garden Works? Might be best to do seeds, and watering first thing. 

We have to make sure you eat lunch too. So gardens, mangroves, church and all ends at 1200 noon, where you can read or PBS for lunch. And then get into your office next. It’s best for you to get started there early. And then do house/office/yard cleaning before bed. That would mean you can get a shower and relax before bed.

I get it 5-8am is god and health, 8-12 is mangroves and gardens, 12-3pm is office works, 3-6pm cleaning, and 6-9pm is the Examin with God again.

What about scouts?

I can get into scouts or teaching as a four hour block once or twice a week. Like Exodus 90 on Tuesdays shifts things a bit. Whenever I have a scouting event or something to do with Carol, I can make that a four hour block, skipping the office or cleaning once or twice a week.

We have to say you have come a long way. It’s important that you take each of these tasks seriously. Remember your time with Emily. Whenever you scheduled a four hour trip to the art show or river to kayak, you were very clear and focused preparing every detail.  Nothing was more important than that time with your daughter. 

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to Achieve YOUR GLORY!

usually totally perplexed

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What have you done now. . . 

It was kinda weird, as I was preparing for another Court Hearing Justin asked me to leave! What? Yes, he had really planned for an intern, not a PhD. The tasks he was giving me, were all canned, where he wanted the boxed versions updated, no new thought, no new insight, just get the job done so he can bill for it. All focused on the cash flow, and not interested in developing something that’s real and lasts. Course, I can only build stuff that’s real and lasts, so the incompatibility came out again and again. 

Interesting as it was, he asked me to leave the day before I had a full day of hearings. Perfect timing to bring clarity and focus to court. What a joke court was. I did say specifically how the whole thing was a show, like a comic strip that anyone with common sense could see through. . . . Except the cop, who always thinks he knows better and must be right. Catherine pulled it off and I was NOT GUILTY, so it’s all just crap on my record now.

Now with the police negligence, bankruptcy, foreclosure and tenant fraud it seems like I’ll be in courts full-time for a while. AS odd as it seems, in the middle of it all last week, I got a call from the DEO who told me they had more COVID funds for helping homeowners in Florida. I told her I already had a foreclosure notice, and she said they could expedite it all. WOW?! I told her my monthly bill, and then the total due after the forbearance. . . “Expedite” in government usually can mean a week instead of a month. . . Or a month instead of a year. . . Which feels like I’ll be getting another call this week.

What did you feel with this.

Yes Jesus, I again felt the endless Blessing of You Providing for me! I did cancel my last mortgage payment. I mean why pay them anything if they already gave me the foreclosure notice.  That means with my last check due in today, I’ll have almost $10k cash.  I’ve lived a whole year on less than that before. So I am more fearless than ever. I’m still fighting my “dad’s program” that the “man is in a job 5 days a week.” It’s not been easy for me to let go of this, and I still apply and ask for another job almost every day.  But I also realize you are leading me into something very specific and strong that I need to do.

What else would we be doing. You know that’s been your place all the time. Now more than ever, you need to decide and create your place in all of this.

I know I’ve been clear about this and working diligently to do whatever I find needs to get done. Like I rewrote the Exodus 90 “Why Statement” with Kevin and Dick, who both provided direction and insight for this. I even have written it out on my wallpaper picture for my iPhone and this iPad:

 

We love that you have your favorite pictures set there in the heart as well. Each time you see this you have this flutter of joy and peace so grateful for the memories and experiences that you created and shared with so many.

I sometimes wonder if that was the best I ever could do and it’s all downhill from there now.

We have shown you countless times how much you change and influence all those around you. There is a lot of power and focus in these experiences that you have and whenever you share and witness to others about the events and blessings you have seen it moves mountains.

I just never seem to know which end is up. Like I push for work, or school, or home, or STARS, or something else. Each time thinking this will be my next fifty years or at least a year or two. I try to stay present and focus on replying to the real issues that appear before me. And suddenly everything shifts again? I always try to stay present and recognize that I’ve got more important things each moment You show up and ask for something. I mean, I’m usually totally perplexed and never seem to know what possible goals there are, wondering what this could be about or what You could need next.

We have always been pretty clear. Knowing you can get through anything is always a big advantage. 

I get it. But I’ve done the fort, and family, and business, and school! I’ve taught classes and guided instructors and even Guru’s. It’s just weird to consider that I’ve got more to do. Yes, I know its more that no one else is doing, or more something that others can’t address or understand.

We have you there where you need to be. Stay slow and steady, everything is set for this next shift we are all needing and wanting.

I get it.  I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to guide and lead me to fulfill all that Is . . . .