What are you finding?I have found that I have been led very clearly all the time. I’ve been bringing Jesus into my space more and more all the time. I realize this is so much beyond what I share and talk about each day. Like since Christmas I’ve been really focused on my son! I remember talking to him about this year being his 33rd birthday and talking about how at age 33 Jesus came into His Passion.
What was his reaction to this?It was really a surprise for me. He spoke about having no interest or belief in Christ Jesus! I was perplexed, explaining how for his first ten years of life with me and his sister, we were bathed in the beauty and joy of Jesus. I always had this Divine Experience and exceptional opportunities everyday, as their mom Colleen, would give me the children and almost vanish whenever I was home. I was completely alone with them for countless hours,k which was why the divorce didn’t affect me. I still saw the kids as much as ever, and she wasn’t there at all, instead of just hiding. . . I have since realized that’s where the experiential education developed, because taking care of the house and family was really my responsibility, which the children shared in immediately; starting in the baby pouch, and then the toddler backpack ,they were with me as I did everything.
With Christopher’s Christmas confession, I realized that I never explicitly spoke about the relationship and love of Jesus as it was really what children meant to me. I know I’ve written stories about Being the Prodigal Son, who demanding a Fat Ram for my Party returning to Christ. And then Maryanne had aborted a child without even telling me while I was still in High School. And I can’t even count how many times she was pregnant after that, or could have been, finding a red lump in the toilet with each new ovulation cycle she had. So then returning to Jesus, or accepting my new knowledge of my Fat Ram coinciding with my Dad moving to Tampa, made it crystal clear that my next step in my evolution was in Tampa going to college to support a family and babies!
I knew Tampa was about Children so to build STARS with Chuck and Jack was another complete blessing. Restructuring education was something I knew was needed before children anyway. And suddenly I was graduating and immediately married who I was with, knowing it was time for children. When Emily came out after 20+ hours of labor, and she was all blue, and rushed to the NICU. WOW, another powerful wake-up call for me . . . Time to get serious about a BABY, GOD’s Gift to me, an awesome Angel directly from the Breathe of God and Jesus that moment. . . WOW, WHAT MUST I DO NOW? More focused and clear than ever before.
What is remarkable here, more than anything is the power and truth we saw in your WOW Statements above, that you really just breezed over here, but actually feeling the power and focus over and over:
- Wow, you survived a 90mph motorcycle accident at age 16…
- Wow, you are a Prodigal Son returning to your place WithGod…
- Wow, you have this awesome Fat Ram… Fine, Barbie Doll Goddess . . .
- Wow, you have a child taken from you …
- Wow, you have children anxious to be in the next stage of your life…
- Wow, you have been called to Tampa escaping the chaos you created in NJ…
- Wow, you have the Best of NJ helping you to reform Education in Tampa…
- Wow, you finished schooling and have a first child, wow,
- Wow, your first child is almost lost with no breathe and you are ready at age 26…wow,wow,wow,
Yes, and I know this whole “Wow” exercise is about me learning and accepting my place more and more everyday. . . I gotta tell somebody, I need to share this. . . !
- Wow, your whole universe changed in 10 years . . . . From Death to Life in only 10 years! And now suddenly you have this little angel with her wings trimmed needing you to bring her into her next place of Divinity. And you knew this, deep in your soul. It was very obvious and clear to you, even confirmed by your mother who brought HER MOTHER to see and share this Divine Light you were now caring for. . . Three Maria’s spanning four generations right there before your eyes.
What are you waiting for?It is so very intimidating! I know I’ve got all I could ever imagine in my hands. And I know I need to stay as close to Your Word as possible. . .
What does this really mean?I know, so I called Kevin! He had just came back home from a trip last night and was able to get on the phone, as everyone else was still asleep. So he really was so wonderful to chat with. Very specific and clear about whether I am in Judgement or in Love with my son . . . . Which was really what Chris was asking about too, when we had a FaceTime call, while I was in the Welcome Team Meeting Wednesday night. And it’s really important that I just Love him and hold onto the truth that we share. . . . And I guess what is really important is how Chris was again exploring more relationship, more experience, more understanding and more dialogue with me. He didn’t invite me to their wedding. . . Which I can’t blame him, since I know Paul and Colleen will be there and that would be dangerous, as it was for Emily. It’s really kinda annoying to me, but I guess someone has to be mature about it.
What is important now is to keep the doors open and listen and share as much as possible.I guess it’s interesting as I met with the Friday Men’s group. Roy was there again, as he was in the Welcome Team Wednesday night and the Exodus Rosary in the morning too! So I decided to email him today, asking him to support my work elsewhere. I mean, I saw his name and picture in one office I was visiting last week . . . So I felt like he could help me there.. . .
What did you do now?I sent Kevin and Jack notes about Jack’s work as a Guardian ad Litem. I really just asked Jack if he’s doing anything in St Pete, offering to help him and give him a free place to stay. As crazy as it is for me, Lisette checked-in too. She just returned from a trip and as I writing to Kevin, I got a message from her asking if I’m ok. This community at Saint Raphael is just awesome. They are all connected too, like last week when Jim asked me to lunch, I had just replied to someone else from church. It’s almost like they plan to all hit me at once. 💕❤️😇👍🥰